i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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