I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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