I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
