Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
