I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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