We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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