I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
