Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
