I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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