idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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