so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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