Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
