I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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