Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
