Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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