I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
