he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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