I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You took a bar mat shot.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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