Umm I'm too high to move.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize