but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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