I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
