Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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