this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You need Xanax blowdarts
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
