i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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