Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
