yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
