Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
