Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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