This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
