At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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