A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
