So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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