I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize