It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she smelled like a LAN party
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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