NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
