3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
