i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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