So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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