I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
