Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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