The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
