Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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