You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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