I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize