Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
