Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize