I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
