I heard we made out
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
