Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
