heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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