he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
