dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
