she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
