I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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