1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
