woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
