I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need a burrito and a hug.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
