Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize