Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
