I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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