Is it because I queefed?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
